


Burnout

by Bookara



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Drug Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9914054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookara/pseuds/Bookara
Summary: Aren't there rules against falling in love with your neighbor?





	1. Hate Fire

Oliver hated nothing more than he hated Connor Walsh. The only thing that came close was how much he hated living across the hall from him.

He was the stereotypical pretty boy; cocky, arrogant and slutty. The only reason Oliver knew about Connor’s hyper-sexuality was because the walls would constantly bang from Connor and his conquest of the day doing just that against them. He was beyond obnoxious with the smiles he would shoot Oliver as they passed each other in the hall, they practically screamed 'I'm the shit and I know it'. The worst part was how Connor never had to try, he just succeeded. He looked so good in his sweatpants it should have been considered illegal and he was extremely intelligent, he knew it too. ‘Top of his class’ as he over heard Connor bragging to a pretty girl he hung out with a lot.  
Maybe he was partly upset because he could only dream about getting as many guys as Connor did or he could never pull off button down shirts as well as Connor did or he would never have friends as close as that group who was always across the hall but that wasn't really important.  
The only thing that mattered was that he hated him and Connor knew it too.

Usually Connor and Oliver didn't interact regularly, their schedules were different so they were coming and going at different times but there was always those awkward encounters that definitely weren't fun for either of them. They usually happened in the elevator.

     Oliver got there first, holding his bag of groceries and his laptop, the doors were just closing when Connor rushed in.  
"Sorry," he gave Oliver an apologetic look as he tried to even his heavy breathing, "I was running late."  
Connor was wearing one of his button downs again, a black one with a matching tie and pants. He looked like he'd just come from a photo shoot, despite his slightly messy hair, while Oliver looked more like a geek with his round glasses and grey suit — which may or may not be exactly what he was but that was besides the point — it just wasn't fair how Connor didn't have to try and still look absolutely stunning.  
Oliver came to the conclusion a while ago that Connor was a law student, hence the nice clothes and occasional briefcases he would normally see him with.  
"I can tell," Oliver replied as he adjusted the heavy bags in his hands.  
Connor opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but decided against it and turned away from Oliver, staring at the elevator buttons.  
An awkward silence fell between them and it lingered for the rest of the ride.  
Right before the elevator stopped on their floor Connor turned back to him, "is it always gonna be like this?"  
Oliver was taken aback at first but cocked his head slightly, "what?"  
Connor gestured his hand in a weird sort of motion and huffed, "awkward, is it always going to be painfully awkward between us?"  
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open so Oliver walked out without a response.  
Connor sighed and followed him out, making sure to keep his distance.  
"It was nice talking to you," he said sarcastically before they went into their separate apartments.  
Oliver just rolled his eyes and shut the door tightly behind him, dropping the bags on the floor. Maybe he was borderline rude to Connor at times but he just didn't understand why he made attempts when Oliver clearly wanted nothing to do with him. Oliver sighed and started putting his groceries away, trying to forget his stupid neighbor. He shouldn't let Connor get under his skin as much as he did but that was a lot easier said than done.

That night Oliver was awoken by an ear piercing beeping sound that refused to stop. He groggily rolled out of his bed in nothing but underwear and checked his alarm clock. To his confusion that wasn't the cause of the noise. Then he smelled it. He smelled smoke and it clicked, it was the fire alarm.  
Slightly panicked, he grabbed a shirt off the floor and hurried out the door.  
He had to take the stairs due to the elevator being shut off for fire precautions. A lot of people in the building were already in the lobby, pushing out the doors and out into the parking lot. Oliver followed, crossing his arms over his chest as goosebumps rose on his skin. It was freezing outside, of course that was expected because it was the middle of November, but because Oliver was only in boxers and a T-Shirt he was absolutely frozen. He should have grabbed something warmer to put on.  
He stood in the parking lot, shivering and a good distance away from the big clump of people on the pavement. He definitely wasn't in the mood to talk.  
Of course he could have sat in his car but he didn't even think to grab his keys off the counter. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something warm, a beach, the coffee he was going to have when they let him inside and his bed, where he'd definitely rather be right now.  
He was starting to get really lost in his thoughts when someone came up next to him and startled him.  
"Hey."  
Oliver jumped slightly and opened his eyes to see the all too familiar dark hair and light scuff he tried to banish from his life. None other than Connor Walsh. Great. This situation kept getting better and better.  
Oliver sighed and closed his eyes again, maybe if he pretended he wasn't there he'd go away. It was silent for a few moments and Oliver was starting to think his plan worked until Connor spoke again.  
"We always have the best conversations."  
Oliver could almost feel the smirk on Connor's face. He opened his eyes and faced him, "what do you want?"  
Connor shrugged, the smirk still lingering on his lips, "you're the only person I know out here."  
Oliver scoffed, "you mean the only person you know and haven't fucked?"  
"I don't fuck people in the build....." he trailed off and thought for a moment, "actually yeah, you're right."  
Oliver rolled his eyes and crossed his arms tighter against his chest.  
Connor's smirk returned, almost as if he was enjoying this, "you should have put more clothes on."  
Oliver looked down at Connor's sweatpants and hoodie, feeling his cheeks heat up with a blush, "I think I could figure that one out for myself."  
Connor raised his hand, dangling a pair of keys in front of of Oliver’s face, “wanna come wait in my car with me?”  
Oliver was completely taken by surprise, “you want me to come in your car?”  
Connor shrugged, “it's cold out here and my cars warm. Plus being alone is boring, there's no one to talk to.”  
Oliver shook his head despite everything in his body begging him to accept, “no thanks.”  
“Oliver you're freezing, I can see you shivering.”  
“I'm fine,” he grumbled as he crossed his arms tighter around himself.  
“Come on, I don't bite….unless you want me to,” Connor’s smirk turned into a smile when Oliver stared at him with the most confused expression he's ever made.  
“Did you seriously just hit on me?”  
Connor laughed and it made Oliver angry, “I was kidding Oliver, it was a joke.”  
Connor pulled his hoodie off, exposing his long sleeve shirt underneath, and held it out to Oliver, “at least take this.”  
Oliver shook his head weakly, it looked so nice and warm but he really didn't want to give in to Connor.  
“Come on Oliver it's just a hoodie.”  
Oliver scowled, his low body temperature getting the better of him, and snatched it, pulling it over his head and desperately trying not to sigh out loud at how it warmed up his freezing cold arms. Connor was smiling but his face faltered when he saw how utterly pissed Oliver looked.  
“Why do you do this?”  
“Do what? Make seriously nice offers to let you wait in my warm-” Connor started but Oliver cut him off.  
“Why do you always try talking to me even though you know I hate you?”  
Connor shrugged, “it's fun.”  
Oliver's eyes widened, “you like pissing me off because it's fun?!”  
Connor nodded, “well I'm never anything but nice to you, it's kinda amusing that you hate me so much.”  
Oliver frowned hard, “you're an asshole, that's why I hate you.”  
Connor raised his eyebrow in amusement, “oh yeah?”  
Now Oliver was infuriated, he did not want to be dealing with this right now. “Yes! You're such a….you're such a pretty boy! You think you're so much better than everyone else but you're not, you're really not. All because you get everything handed to you doesn't mean everyone else does so many try acting like you don't own the whole goddamn world!”  
Connor’s expression turned stone cold, “you don't know anything about me.”  
“You're just upset because I'm right.”  
The sirens of the firetrucks came blaring into the parking lot, drowning out Connor's response. Judging by Connor's expression it was probably something he didn't want to hear.  
Oliver just shook his head and turned away from him. They stood there in silence until the sirens turned off as the firemen got to work.  
"You know I'm not the asshole here," Connor suddenly said.  
"What?" Oliver turned to look at him but Connor was walking away, probably to his car.  
Oliver huffed and crossed his arms, he shouldn't let Connor get under his skin but that was a lot easier said than done.

It was hours before they were finally let back in, and when they were, people practically ran into the building, happy to get back to the warmth of their apartments.

Oliver lagged behind the group, Connor's words stuck in his head, 'I'm not the asshole here'. He had no idea why he couldn't just let it go, it's not like Connor's opinion mattered to him. He shook his head and headed to the stairs, not bothering with the crowded elevator.  
He trudged up the steps, cold and exhausted. The stairs felt like they went on for an eternity but he finally reached his apartment and pushed open the door, thankful that he forgot to lock it. He went to take his shirt back off and froze when his fingers brushed over the unfamiliar fabric of Connor's hoodie. He forgot he even had it on.  
Sighing he pulled it over his head, he knew it was probably best to return it tonight so he could get it over with.  
He slipped his shoes on and crossed the hall, to his least favorite room in the building. He hesitated before knocking on the door. Maybe Connor would be asleep and wouldn't answer the door and he could leave the hoodie outside, Oliver could only hope.  
To his disappointment Connor opened the door, in nothing but his boxers. He leaned on the doorframe and crossed his arms when he saw Oliver, "why are you here?"  
Oliver tried so hard to keep himself from scowling as he thrusted the hoodie out to Connor, "to give this back to you."  
Connor took it and slung it over his shoulder, looking bored and uninterested, "okay."  
Oliver paused for a second then scoffed, "seriously? Not even a thank you?"  
"I'm an asshole remember?" Connor shrugged then shut the door leaving Oliver dumbfounded.  
He shook his head and turned around, going back into his apartment. He could only take so much Connor in a day.  
He shut his apartment door loudly, making sure Connor could definitely hear it. Oliver could picture him smirking behind his own shut door as he heard the slam and frowned, disappointed in himself. He was starting to act like a kid, letting his deep hatred for the younger man get the better of him. He was an adult, he could go about this in a mature way, he just had to avoid Connor. He could manage that, he could be civil with his neighbor.  
He took a few deep breaths, running his hand through his hair. It was late and he had work in the morning so he decided to just go to bed and try to forget about everything that happened that night.  
He sighed happily when he got into the familiar comfort of his bed. Wrapping the blanket around himself, he closed his eyes and his still cold body warmed up from the lingering heat in the sheets.  
He dozed off soon after, the warmth lulling him into sleep.

Soon enough he stirred awake due to a loud, repeated banging sound....coming from across the hall. He angrily threw the blankets off himself and stormed out of his apartment and across the hall. The banging didn't stop and before he could even process what it was Oliver was loudly knocking on the door.  
"Connor!"  
The noise stopped for a second and he heard a stomp. A few moments passed and Connor opened the door, his body slicked in sweat and in nothing but boxers which were on sloppily, almost as if they were just thrown on. The tent in the fabric was unmistakable.  
"Can I help you?"  
Oliver froze and a blush crept up his cheeks are he realized exactly what that noise was.  
"Oh my god...you were....against the door."  
Connor gave him a small nod and ran his hands through his sex hair, "yes Oliver, I was getting laid before you rudely ruined the moment."  
Oliver's lips pulled into a frown and he crossed his arms, "well could you do it somewhere else in the apartment? I can't sleep."  
Connor rolled his eyes, "oh no, poor baby."  
"I'm serious Connor!"  
Connor's signature smirk appeared back on his face, "you're welcome to join if you'd like."  
Oliver scoffed, "that's the last thing I'd want to do."  
Connor adjusted his boxers, "can I go? You really know how to kill a hard on."  
Oliver clenched his fists, "you're an asshole."  
"We've been over this."  
"Keep it down or I'm calling the police."  
Connor let out a small laugh, "I'm a law student Oliver, I can deal with police."  
"Just keep the goddamn noise down! Okay? I'm not asking you for a lot here!"  
"Goodnight," Connor said before shutting the door.

Oliver was fuming as he went back to his own apartment.  
As he got into bed for the third time that night he was sure of two things.

One: work was going to be hell tomorrow and two: he really hated Connor Walsh.


	2. Coffee Favors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets Oliver coffee. Oliver's a little shit. Connor has problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the messed up indents, I have no idea how to put them in

Sometimes being right sucked. Work was hell for Oliver, his eyelids constantly begging to close as he stared at the computer screen on his small desk for hours in the IT building. Running on four hours of sleep was not ideal for working, or even functioning.  
         Oliver knew it wasn't Connor’s fault that the fire happened and it really wasn't his fault that he had to stand outside in the cold while the fire trucks arrived but he blamed him anyways. It was definitely Connor’s fault for waking him up the second time so he blamed him for the whole night, it made perfect sense, well at least in Oliver’s exhausted mind.  
         The second his shift ended he was out the door and practically jogging to his car. He wanted nothing more than to be on his couch with a hot cup of coffee and episode 4 of the Thunderbirds.  
         The last thing he wanted was to run into Connor in the elevator but of course that's exactly what happened.  
         Connor smiled as Oliver trudged into the elevator.  
         “Rough day at work? You look exhausted,” Connor asked as he ran a hand through his gelled hair, messing it up slightly.  
         Oliver sighed, “not today Connor, please, I'm not in the mood.”  
         Connor's forehead scrunched slightly, “I was just asking...I got you a coffee.”  
         Oliver looked at Connor’s hands which were holding two coffee cups, how did he not notice that before?  
         “Why would you do that?” Oliver almost sounded offended.  
         “Because of the fire yesterday, I expected you to be tired plus there's free coffee at my work so I grabbed you one on the way out.”  
         He looked at the cup for a moment then turned toward the elevator door, “I don't want it.”  
         “It's just coffee. I didn't poison it.”  
         “I said I don't want it,” Oliver held the strap of his laptop bag tighter, not enjoying the tension that was building in the air between them.  
         “Would you just take the damn coffee?” Connor held the cup out to him just as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.  
         Oliver scowled and snatched the cup as he walked out of the elevator. Stupid Connor and his fucking coffee.  
         He made sure to walk faster than Connor down the hallway, clearly hinting that he was done talking to him.  
         He got into his apartment, shutting the door without looking back to see where the other man was. He angrily threw the coffee into the trash, watching it pop open and spill into the garbage bag.  
         The warm smell of the drink rose out of the garbage can and Oliver instantly regretted dumping it. So what if Connor gave it to him? It probably tasted amazing but now he'd never know that because the liquid was spilled all over the bottom of his trashcan.  
         He put his laptop bag on the island in his kitchen and took a deep breath. He still had the Thunderbirds to watch and a perfectly functioning coffee maker of his own.  
         Trying to forget about Connor and his stupid work coffee he went to his machine and put in the coffee grounds, four scoops to be exact, strong, just the way he liked it. With a small smile he turned on the machine, listening to the familiar sounds that meant it was working.  
         He went over to his couch and turned on the TV, playing the Thunderbirds.

         He ended up falling asleep on the couch, his unpoured coffee forgotten about and the TV softly continuing to play in the background.

         When he woke up it was around midnight. He stretched and rubbed his eyes before turning off the TV. So much for a regular sleep schedule. He got up and turned off his coffee maker, he could heat up the pot of made coffee in the morning. Right as he was about to go change into comfortable clothes he heard a frantic knock on his door.  
         After a silent debate on whether to answer it or not he walked over to the door and opened it.  
         He was more than shocked to see Connor.  
         “Connor, it's past midnight, what are you doing here?” Oliver asked trying to sound annoyed but Connor looked terrified so he was more perturbed than angry. His hands were shaking and his face had this expression that resembled someone in a panic.  
         “Oliver I-I lost my phone can I-I use your phone to call it?” he asked as he clenched and unclenched his fists.  
         Oliver opened the door a little wider, “did you look in your apartment?”  
         “Of course I looked in my apartment!” Connor snapped which made Oliver flinch. For as long as he's known Connor he's always been calm no matter how far Oliver pushed him, this was new.  
         “If it's not in your apartment then why do you want to call it? You won't be able to hear it if it's not in the building.”  
         “M-maybe I missed it, I need my phone,” Connor’s eyes were darting up and down Oliver, almost as if he was trying to pinpoint where Oliver’s phone may be hidden.  
         “Don't you have a landline?”  
         “No. Who the fuck has landlines anymore?”  
         Oliver crossed his arms, “why should I help you? We're not friends, there's a whole hallway full of people.”  
         Connor tugged at his hair in desperation, “Oliver you don't understand, I need my phone.”  
         “No. Goodnight Connor.”  
         “Just let me use your goddamn phone!” Connor shouted, turning from desperate to infuriated.  
         The only reason Oliver agreed was because Connor’s tone was slightly scaring him.  
         He could see the way Connor's hands shook as he dialed his number. He put the phone to his ear as he walked back into his apartment, listening for a ring.  
         Oliver watched him, not wanting to go across the hall in case it got Connor even more mad.  
         He heard Connor sigh of relief as muffled ringing came from the bag he always took to school. He fished out his phone and held it in his hand as if it was a newborn child. He looked at the screen and frowned before realizing he still had Oliver's phone. He motioned for Oliver to come in and without even thinking Oliver did just that.  
         “Thank you,” he said as he handed Oliver his phone back.  
         Oliver put it in his pocket, “it's not problem.” He shocked himself at how nice he sounded.  
         Connor's hands were still shaking as he clutched his phone so tightly his knuckles were turning white, “I owe you one, I really do.”  
         “Don't worry about it.”  
         “No, I probably woke you up and you already hat-” Connor started but Oliver cut him off.  
         “Connor. I said don't worry about it. How about we pretend this never happened?”  
         Connor nodded with a small smile, “okay.”  
         They stood there in awkward silence before Oliver cleared his throat, “so I'm just gonna go now.”  
         “Yeah okay. Goodnight Oliver.”  
         “Goodnight Connor,” Oliver said as he went back to his own apartment and shut the door behind him.  
         He looked at the wall and blinked a few times and spoke to no one, “what the hell just happened?”  
         He couldn't help being curious as to why Connor was so freaked out about losing his phone. Maybe he had something illegal on it? Maybe he couldn't afford a new one? Maybe…. what the hell Oliver? He mentally smacked himself. Whatever happened wasn't any of his business, he didn't even like Connor so why should he care about what he did in his life? He shouldn't and he wasn't going to let himself care. He was going to do exactly what he told Connor to do, forget this ever happened.  
         He was just about to go back to bed when he heard a sob come from across the hall. He pathetically pressed his ear against the door, his curiosity completely overpowering his previous thoughts.  
         He could hear muffled crying from across the thin hallway, no doubt that it was Connor. Something bad probably happened.  
         Oliver’s hand ghosted over the doorknob as he pressed his ear harder into the wooden door, trying to hear what was going on. It totally wasn't considered snooping by the way, just necessary investigation.  
         After a couple of minutes all noise from across the hall stopped and Oliver pulled away from the door. He looked into the kitchen to see the clock on the stove that blinked 1:17am.  
         He looked back at the door and then back at the clock, silently debating where to go. He could go try and sleep, which would be next to impossible due to the extended nap he took just a few hours ago, or he could go check on Connor who would probably conclude that he was snooping. He decided on the first option. Connor wasn't his friend, he hated him, there was no reason why he should go out of his way to help him. Whatever was going on Connor could probably handle himself.  
         Oliver got into bed with a pit in stomach that wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried to wipe the law student from his thoughts.  
         Goddamn Connor Walsh.


	3. Step Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's walls fall. Oliver thinks he's in until stronger ones come right back up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to update this once or twice a week  
> It's cool that so many of you are enjoying it so far :)

“Hey,” Oliver offered Connor a weak smile as he got into the elevator. Something about Connor was different that morning, his eyes looked empty and his facial expression could only be described as dejected. He moved almost automatically, like he was there physically, but mentally he was lost in whatever problem was destroying him.   
         Oliver wasn't offended when he didn't respond, he just stood silently in the elevator, staring at the blinking buttons.  
         “Connor are you okay?” Oliver spoke up again after several moments of utter silence. It was unnatural, usually Connor was making some sort of effort to talk to Oliver by now but whatever happened last night must have been serious enough to shut him up. He noticed the way Connor softly winced at his words and only then he noticed the faint smell of alcohol surrounding the law student.  
         Connor shrugged slightly without turning to face Oliver.  
         “Are you sure?” Oliver mentally winced at how pleading his tone sounded, he wasn't trying to sound so concerned, he was just...well he actually was concerned. Maybe he did hate Connor but it didn't mean he was a piece of shit, if something was wrong the least he could do was listen to him talk.  
         “I don't feel like talking this morning Oliver,” Connor mumbled as he kept staring straight ahead.  
         Oliver blinked a few times, almost as if he was surprised he even got a response, “y-yeah, okay.” He looked down at his shoes, feeling his cheeks heat up. He expected Connor not to talk but he didn't expect to be shut down like that.  
         The elevator dinged and the metal doors slid open, Oliver hesitated to leave, wanting Connor to go out first but he didn't. Connor took a deep breath and turned around to face him.  
         “Thank you, for caring, or at least pretending to,” he said before turning back and leaving.  
         “Uh, it's no problem,” Oliver said to no one really because Connor was almost out of the building. He shook his head to clear it and straightened his suit before walking out and heading to work.

         Connor didn't show up in the elevator that night. Oliver didn't think too much about it, sometimes Connor’s classes ran really late.  
         He started his nightly walk down the hall to his apartment, looking down at something on his phone but stopped dead in his tracks and shot his head up as he heard a loud bang. Connor had some guy pinned against his door, their lips moving together in a complete mess and his hands tangled in the guy’s suit. The other guy was frantically trying to get the door open but that seemed to be a very difficult task when Connor was all over him.  
         “Forget the door, just touch me,” Connor mumbled against the others mans mouth as he quickly started undoing the buttons of his shirt. The man opened his eyes to try and help but saw Oliver and froze, “hey uh there's a guy here.”  
         “You're supposed to be paying attention to me,” Connor scowled as he kept working at the buttons but was stopped when the guy grabbed his wrists.  
         “Connor, stop for a second.”  
         He groaned and turned his head to look at Oliver, “this isn't a free show.”  
         Oliver’s cheeks flared red as he stumbled over what to say, “I-uh I was just trying to get home.”  
         “Well go then! I'm not in the way!” Connor snapped which completely surprised Oliver, it was a totally different Connor from that morning.  
         Connor rolled his eyes when Oliver didn't move and turned back to the guy, “are we gonna do this or am I gonna need to find someone else? And trust me, I can find someone else.”  
         The guy quickly finished unbuttoning his shirt and looked smugly at Connor, “we’re doing this.”  
         Connor looked at Oliver again and scowled at him, “go home Oliver and put in headphones or something, the last thing anyone wants is your annoying complaining cockblocking me yet again.”  
         Oliver opened his mouth to say something but shook his head and unlocked his door, “fuck you Connor,” he mumbled as he went inside.  
         “No thanks! I already got someone doing that!” Oliver heard Connor shoot back before his apartment door clicked shut, putting a much needed barrier between him and his beyond annoying neighbor. He didn't understand it, last night Connor looked so helpless and that morning he was appreciative and now, well now he was like this.  
        For a slight moment Oliver felt upset, it's not like he wanted to hate Connor, nobody wants to hate their neighbor, or anybody in that instance. But it didn't matter, Connor didn't matter, being nice clearly didn't work.  
         Oliver put his bags down next to the island in his kitchen and was just about to get something to eat when he heard an obscene noise from across the hall that was probably some sort of moan. Oliver clenched his fists, certain Connor was just doing that to spite him. It made no sense to him, he helped Connor last night and now he was back to his rude cocky self. Well two could play at this game. He turned on his TV and cranked the volume, loud enough to definitely be heard from across the hall. It drown out the moaning and whatever Christian show he chose to play would definitely piss off Connor. No one wants to have sex to a bible reading, it kinda kills the mood.  
         Ignoring the fact that he was acting like a college kid with a roommate dispute, he heated up some leftovers, being way to lazy, and angry, to cook. He sat on the couch with his day old spaghetti and stared at the TV, his fingers itching to change the channel. He'd just leave it on just long enough to make Connor mad then he could get back to the Thunderbirds

         He was almost done with his spaghetti when there was loud, angry knocking on the door. Groaning, he got up and muted the TV before walking to the door.  
         He swung the door open and smirked when he saw an extremely pissed off looking Connor.  
         “Seriously Oliver?! The Christian channel! Out of everything you had to pick that!” his hair was a mess and he had on only a T-shirt and boxers.  
         Oliver crossed his arms, “what? You didn't get to finish?”  
         “No actually I didn't, Jonathan didn't wanna have sex to the Old Testament!”  
         Oliver had to stifle a laugh, “I can't imagine why.”  
         “You're such a cockblock you know that right?” he scowled as he ran a hand through his hair.  
         “I only did it because you wouldn't be quiet over there! And I know you purposely did it to spite me!”  
         Connor smirked, “I can't help the fact that they're loud, I'm particularly good at sex.”  
         Oliver rolled his eyes, “I'll take your word for it.”  
         “Are you sure? You could find out for yourself,” Connor winked and Oliver scoffed.  
         “Yeah, no thanks.”  
         Connor shrugged, “your loss.”  
         “What is it with you?” Oliver shook his head.  
         “And what do you mean by that?” Connor asked as he leaned against the doorframe.  
         “Just you! You're obnoxious, then you're nice, then you're asking for my help, then you're unbelievably rude and now you're trying to get me to have sex with you!”  
         “I try and get everyone to have sex with me, don't think you're special.”  
         “I don't get it! What did I ever do to you?” Oliver was one step away from yelling at this point.  
         “Uh if I remember correctly you hated me first.”  
         “What happened last night?” Oliver blurted out.  
         Connor visibly stiffened, his calm cocky demeanor instantly crumbled, “nothing happened.”  
         “Bullshit Connor. You were so panicked about losing your phone and then this morning in the elevator!”  
         “The only things that's wrong is you! You hate me for absolutely no reason then try and ask me details about my personal life. Well let me tell you, it's none of your buisness Oliver!”  
         “Well sorry for trying to help!”  
         “I don't want you to! I never asked for your help!” Connor yelled.  
         “It's what neighbors are supposed to do Connor!” now Oliver was yelling right back.  
         “Yeah! Good neighbors which you aren't!”  
         “Well you aren't either!”  
         Connor rolled his eyes, “yes I'm such an awful neighbor, I gave you my hoodie during the fire drill, got you coffee, what a piece of shit I am!”  
         “The noises coming from over there at obscene hours of the night is what makes you a bad neighbor!” Oliver angrily pointed across the hall.  
         “Oh my god Oliver get over it, I don't always bring the guys back to my place.”  
         “You have at least two a week!”  
         “So?”  
         “Just-,” Oliver took a deep breath and calmed down, “there's other people in the world besides you Connor.”  
         Connor was about to reply but his phone buzzed. He stopped and pulled it out of the waistband of his boxers. His eyes flickered over the screen as his expression fell, “I-uh I gotta go, we can continue this later or whatever.”  
         “Oh uh yeah okay,” Oliver said as Connor turned to walk across the hall. He watched the door shut, just staring at it with a confused expression.  
         He flinched when he heard the sound of glass shattering against the wall and Connor screaming loud profanities.  
         He shut his own door, ignoring the situation. If Connor didn't want to talk about it Oliver wasn't going to make an effort to get him to open up. If he wanted to be lonely so be it.  
         Oliver was done trying to figure out Connor Walsh.   
         


	4. Five Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five Times Oliver sees Connor in the elevator and one time Oliver goes to his apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for the lack of indents to new paragraphs. I literally can not get them to insert grrrr. But thanks for all your comments and Kudos :)

Oliver saw Connor in the elevator five times the next week. Each time was weirder than the last.  
The two weren't really speaking since their big fight on Friday. Now thinking about it, Oliver didn't see Connor once that weekend. Connor’s group of friends were absent the whole time too which was odd because usually Connor had someone in his apartment. It being empty was just plain weird. It was almost like Connor had disappeared.  
It was fair to say that Connor had been acting weird, with the phone notifications that completely redirected whatever he was doing and his weird mood changes. The disappearance just added to the weird things Connor had been doing.  
Oliver wasn't concerned though, why should he be? Maybe he stayed at another one of his hookups houses for the weekend. A whole weekend of sex was definitely something Connor wouldn't pass up. It was a nice break from the law student, a break that Oliver definitely needed. He wasn't sure where him and Connor stood. He thought just maybe they were starting to get past their differences and become some sort of friends, but Connor went back to his old self again.  
In a way Oliver almost missed him, life was relativity boring without Connor.

On Monday they met in the elevator on their way to work, well school for Connor.  
Oliver did a double take when Connor walked in. His usually styled hair was lacking gel and his eyes were bloodshot. His button down shirt was messy and popping out of his pants in a failed attempt to tuck it in.  
Oliver put his pride aside and took a deep breath, “sleep okay Connor?”  
Connor looked at him with a slightly dazed expression and nodded, “I slept great.”  
Oliver looked him up and down trying to figure out why he looked like that. Maybe he had a hook up this morning, that would explain the shirt and the hair but not the bloodshot eyes. There's no way anyone would be happy if they were hungover so he ruled that out too.  
“Your shirt is untucked,” Oliver pointed out as Connor looked down at it.  
“Oh yeah you're right,” he looked back up, “fix it for me?”  
Oliver looked confused, “excuse me?”  
“Tuck it back in for me.”  
“Connor no.”  
Connor pouted, “why not?”  
The doors opened at that point so Oliver hurried out without another word.

On Tuesday they met on the way home. Oliver had to work overtime that night. It wasn't until about 10:00 that he finally got to leave work. He was almost shocked to meet Connor in the elevator. He'd never seen Connor when he worked overtime before. Oliver almost immediately noticed his smell.  
It was something he really couldn't explain but he reeked of it. His hair was a mess again but at least his clothes were neat, unlike yesterday. It wasn't Connor’s normal cologne smell, it was foreign to him. He could somewhat relate it to burnt hay. It was terrible smelling and Oliver had to resist the urge to gag.  
He tried to stick it out but eventually his nose begged him to speak up, “god Connor, what is that?”  
“What's what?” Connor turned to look at him. Now Oliver could see his eyes, they were still a little red but no where near yesterday morning.  
“That smell, it's all over your clothes.”  
Connor looked confused for a moment, “you can't see a smell on my clothes Oliver.”  
“You know what I mean!”  
Connor paused and thought, “my car broke down and I had to fix it, you know, so I could get home.”  
“You know how to fix cars?” Oliver asked, cocking his head slightly.  
Connor laughed, it wasn't his normal nice laugh it was more of a pained forced laugh, “there's a lot you don't know about me Oliver.”  
Oliver opened his mouth to respond but the doors slid open at that point and Connor left, leaving a confused Oliver behind.

On Wednesday Oliver had the day off. The broiler went out at his building so they shut down. It was nice of them to close actually, sitting at a computer desk without heat for 8 hours is the actual definition of torture. After making pasta for dinner for about the fourth night in a row he decided he should go grocery shopping. Pasta wasn't exactly an ideal diet but it sure did taste good.  
He grabbed his keys and took the elevator down to the lobby. He was the only one in it, resulting in a very quiet ride. He could hear every grind and moan of the elevator as it went down which was honestly a little freaky. It wasn't until the doors opened on the lobby floor when he saw Connor. He was going up while Oliver was going out to the parking lot.  
To say Connor was a mess was an understatement. His belt wasn't buckled but just hanging openly off his waist, his shirt’s buttons were matched in all the wrong holes and his hair could either be defined as wild sex hair or being ran over by a bus. His eyes were red and puffy, like he'd been crying.  
Oliver's expression softened as pure sympathy shot through him, “Connor…..are you okay?” he gently asked.   
“Don't fucking talk to me,” Connor snapped as he pushed past Oliver and into the elevator.  
Would it be pathetic if Oliver admitted he was worried?

On Thursday Oliver was coming home when Connor was leaving. He had to stay late at work again, the company trying to make up for all the work they lost when they were forced to close the day before. The only thing it resulted in was overworking the employees and stressing everyone out.  
Oliver was overjoyed when the elevator doors opened on his floor, his bed was only a few feet away. He was walking down the hall when Connor hurried out of his apartment. He looked normal today, maybe a little rushed but otherwise normal.  
Maybe it was Oliver’s exhausted brain making rash decisions but he grabbed Connor’s arm lightly, “hey where are you going?”  
To Oliver’s surprise Connor didn't yank his arm away but slightly leaned into the touch.  
“I'm going out,” he said softly.  
“What's going on with you lately?”  
“Nothing's going on,” Connor yanked his arm away from Oliver grasp and stepped back, “why do you even care?”  
Oliver took a deep breath, exploding wouldn't help either of them in this situation.  
“You've been acting weird all week Connor, I just didn't know if something was wrong.”  
“Everything is fine,” Connor looked down at him phone and swallowed hard, “I-I really need to be somewhere.”  
“Yeah, yeah okay, I'll talk to you later.”  
“Sure,” Connor shrugged as he hurried down the hall.  
By now Oliver could conclude that something was wrong. He was acting completely different, almost alarmingly different. Something had to have happened. Maybe it wasn't Oliver’s business but he wanted to help Connor. Everything in his brain was telling him to stay away and let Connor handle it on his own but Oliver was nicer than that. He wanted to help.

If Oliver was certain something was wrong before, Friday definitely proved him right. He was waiting for the elevator doors to close when Connor came stumbling in. He was out of breath when he got in the elevator and leaned against the wall.  
Oliver looked at him, taking everything in, “you sure nothing is going on?”  
“What,” Connor slurred as he panted. Oliver barely made out the word.  
“Yesterday you told me you were fine. You don't seem fine.”  
Connor swallowed and looked at his feet, swaying a little bit on his feet, “I-I….” he stuttered and stopped.  
“Do you want me to call someone? A family member? I bet they'd come and….” Oliver started but Connor’s head snapped up and he looked at him with such an expression of rage and fury it almost scared Oliver.  
“Leave me alone Oliver! I'm fine, stop trying to help me! You can't fix this….n-no one can fix this,” Connor's voice cracked and he looked down at the floor as his body shook.  
“You're right, whatever is going on I can't fix but I can try and help, if you'll let me.”  
Connor looked up at him with big broken eyes, “w-why would you want to help me?”  
Oliver gave him a small smile, “cause that's what neighbors do.”  
Connor's face softened and his eyes zoned out, as if he was trying to debate whether Oliver was telling the truth. The ding of the elevator doors ruined his train of thought. He blinked a few times and shook his head before his expression went back to its usually stone cold appearance.  
“I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help. I told you I was fine,” with that Connor walked out of the elevator and down the hall to his apartment.  
Oliver frowned in frustration, maybe just maybe he thought he could get to Connor, but that man was like brick wall and once you broke it down, there was a bigger and stronger one behind it. It seemed like Connor was a never ending stack of walls.

Oliver took a deep breath as he knocked on Connor’s door. He clutched the bottle of wine in his hand tightly. Honestly he couldn't even tell you why he was doing this he just felt like Connor needed someone in his life to just be nice to him and Oliver didn't see anyone else stepping up.  
Waiting for Connor to come to the door was almost agonizing. His heart was beating quickly, he believed it was out of fear of being rejected.  
Finally, the door opened.  
“H-hey,” Oliver awkwardly smiled.  
Connor ran a hand through his hair, “what are you doing here?”  
He held up the bottle of wine, “I thought you could use this.”  
Connor opened his mouth to probably say some sort of snarky remark but he took a deep breath and smiled, “you know I think you're right for once.”  
Oliver couldn't even be offended because he was too shocked by Connor’s response.  
“C-can I come in?” Oliver asked.  
Connor hesitated for a moment and looked back into his apartment, “uh yeah sure.” He opened the door wider and let Oliver walk inside.  
There were books and papers everywhere, Oliver guessed it was for his classes.  
“So you're a law student?” Oliver asked as Connor took the bottle of wine and poured two glasses.   
“Yup, in the most demanding program with the most heartless professor,” Connor laughed as he handed Oliver a glass.  
Maybe it was stress, Oliver thought. Maybe stress was cracking Connor. Law school was hard no doubt so maybe that was it.  
“He can't be that bad.”  
“She.”  
“What?”  
“She. My professor, Mrs.Keating. She's ruthless.”  
Oliver took a sip of the wine, “oh yeah?”  
Connor nodded and downed his glass, “uh, thanks for this by the way. It was nice of you.”  
“It's no problem, really.”  
Connor smiled and put his glass back down on the table, “who would have ever thought Oliver Hampton would be at my apartment asking to split a bottle of wine.”  
“Oh shut up,” Oliver's cheeks slightly heated up with embarrassment.  
Connor let out a small laugh and poured himself another glass, “I'm kidding Oliver.”  
“Yeah I knew that,” Oliver mumbled as he put down his glass. Connor raised his eyebrow as if to ask if Oliver wanted a refill but he shook his head.  
“So uh how was your week?” Oliver asked. He knew he was charting into dangerous territory but he didn't care, he wanted Connor to tell him what was going on.  
Connor shrugged then smiled, “you're not very good at small talk.”  
Oliver resisted the urge to frown, he completely avoided the question. Instead, he let out a small laugh, “I guess not.”  
Connor smirked and stepped closer to him, “awe do I make you nervous?”  
Oliver cheeks heated up again and he stepped back, “would you stop that!”  
Connor’s phone rang before he could reply and he looked at it. He sighed and gave Oliver an apologetic look, “I'm sorry, it's Annalise, I mean my professor, I have to go in.”  
Oliver tried not to feel disappointed but he failed, “yeah, sure okay. I guess I'll see you later?”  
Connor nodded and grabbed his keys.  
Oliver took that as his cue to leave and walked back to his apartment. That didn't go as badly as he assumed it would, but he didn't find out what he wanted to. He should have predicted it, why would Connor open up to someone he barely knew? He huffed and sat down on his couch. He just had to be patient. And he could do that. Right?


	5. Panicked Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic attacks and irreversible mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stating again: Updates will be ONCE or TWICE a week. I'm sorry it's kinda slow but it's all that my busy life will allow

It was a little past midnight when Oliver heard the frantic knock at his door. It was rapid and quick, demanding and urgent.  
Oliver hurried to the door, opening it without hesitation. Whoever it was must have wanted something important.  
Oliver was beyond shocked to see Connor. He blinked a few times and looked at him, “uh hi Connor.”  
Connor was clenching and unclenching his fists as he paced in front of Oliver’s door. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. His forehead was beaded in sweat and his breathing was louder then normal.  
Oliver opened the door all the way and looked at him with pure concern, “Connor, are you okay?”  
Connor shook his head and blinked back tears, “n-no, n-not even close.”  
Oliver lightly took his arm, “why don't you come inside?”  
Connor was shaking harder but nodded, “o-okay.”  
As soon as Oliver shut the door behind them Connor sunk to the floor and started crying into his kneecaps.  
Oliver really had no idea what to do so he just dropped to his knees in front of Connor.  
“Hey Connor, it's okay.”  
He shook his head quickly and let out a sob.  
Oliver scooted closer to him but kept his distance, “just breathe okay? It's alright.”  
That seemed to make Connor cry harder. Oliver winced, he had a feeling he was making it worse. Connor really must have had nowhere else to go if he chose to come here, the least Oliver could do was try and calm him down.  
“Do you want to tell me what's wrong?” Oliver asked softly.  
Connor shook his head again and sniffled loudly. He looked up at Oliver with pure panic in his eyes as his chest rose and fell quickly.  
“Hey Connor, you're okay, you're safe with me, I promise. I need you to focus on breathing.”  
Connor weakly nodded and squeezed his eyes shut which sent a fresh wave of tears down his cheeks.  
Oliver hesitantly reached out to him, “I'm gonna put my hand on you okay?”  
Connor looked at him and nodded again.  
Oliver put his hand on his back and rubbed in soft circles, “you're okay Connor.”  
Connor didn't respond. The only sounds that were passed between them was Connor’s heavy breathing and occasional sniffling.  
After what felt like forever to Oliver, he calmed down and stared straight ahead at the wall.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Oliver asked as he took his hand off Connor’s back.  
“P-please don't make me,” Connor whimpered.  
“I'm not going to make you,” Oliver reassured him gently, “do you want some water? You can take a shower too if you'd like.”  
Connor nodded and slowly got up off the floor. His cheeks were red and his eyes were still puffy.  
Oliver pointed to a door opening, “showers in there. Use whatever you want.”  
“Thank you,” Connor said through a scratchy voice. Oliver gave him a small smile before Connor went into the bathroom and shut the door.  
He put some ice in a cup and filled the rest with cold water. When he was done he put it down on the counter and leaned against it. What the hell just happened?  
Oliver took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. Whatever was going on with Connor must have been more serious than he thought. He contemplated multiple possibilities of what could be going on until Connor walked back in just his sweatpants.  
He gave Oliver a weak smile before picking up the glass of water and taking a sip. Oliver watched him carefully, as if he was a timid animal.  
Connor finished the water and put the empty glass down, “thank you.”  
“It's not a problem,” Oliver said as he moved the glass to the sink.  
As soon as he turned around Connor presses his hands on his hips and pushed him so his back was tight against the counter.   
Oliver’s eyes widened as he stared at Connor, who was dangerously close.  
“W-what are you doing?” he stammered as Connor’s lips turned up in a slight smirk.  
“Stop talking,” he whispered as he pressed their lips together.  
If Oliver thought he was shocked before, this definitely topped it. Connor was kissing him, actually kissing him and he was ashamed to admit that he didn't hate it.  
When Connor discovered Oliver wasn't going to push him away he deepened the kiss, moving his mouth against Oliver’s.  
Oliver put his hands on the counter to steady himself. His common sense completely turned off and he just let himself live out the moment.  
Connor was extremely good at whatever he was doing to Oliver’s mouth. He assumed it was due to all the practice the man must have gotten from his constant hookups which made Oliver skeptical but once Connor bit on his bottom lip he knew there was no going back. Oliver couldn't stop himself even if he wanted to.  
Their tongues mixed together in a hot open mouthed kiss. It was hard and messy and Oliver's heart was hammering out of his chest but for some reason it felt right.  
In a spark of confidence Oliver allowed his hands to trail across Connor’s slightly damp and exposed torso. He never realized how toned Connor was until he was running his fingertips along every single curve and dip of his body. He almost swore he felt Connor shiver slightly but didn't have time to think about it because Connor was roughly trying to pull Oliver’s shirt off. He pulled back a little bit to help him and flushed red when he watched Connor's eyes rake over his body.  
He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it when Connor pulled him by the waistband of his pants to the bed. Oliver's head was spinning as he was pushed onto the bed and landed on his back. He swallowed hard as he watched Connor drop his pants  
“C-Connor,” Oliver managed to choke out as the law student turned to look at him.  
Connor crawled on top of him, “yes Oliver?”  
“Should we be doing this?”  
Connor gave him an amused smirk and started trailing kisses down his neck, “well do you want to? Cause I definitely know I do.”  
Oliver let his eyes flutter closed, it was at that moment that he knew exactly how to answer that question, “y-yeah I do.”

Oliver woke up at an obscene hour in the morning to find Connor struggling to get dressed. Oliver furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and sat up a little bit.  
Connor heard him move and froze like a deer caught in headlights.  
“You don't have to go,” Oliver frowned slightly as Connor looked down.  
“Y-yeah I uh, I got class early tomorrow,” Connor said as he kept getting dressed, “I didn't mean to wake you up.”  
Oliver laid back down and let out a forced laugh, “god I'm so stupid.”  
“What?”  
“This was your fix wasn't it? A way to deal with your problems? That's all this was to you? Tell me I'm right Connor, I know I am.”  
Connor was silent for a few moments, “don't make this more awkward than it already is.”  
Oliver scoffed and rolled away to face the wall, “make sure the doors locked when you leave.”  
Connor didn't respond as he finished getting his clothes on and left the bedroom.  
Oliver hated the fact that he hugged a pillow to his chest and felt his eyes prick with tears.   
Oliver offered help and Connor took it, he was ashamed of himself for thinking that maybe Connor had taken a liking to him. Connor was Connor, sexy and seductive and Oliver, well Oliver was Oliver, a nerdy computer worker who spent his weekends alone. As smart as he was with computers when it come to Connor he was as ignorant as it came.  
Maybe Connor was just a big hurricane. Maybe he only had Oliver to turn to because he hurt everyone else who tried to help him. He was mad at himself for letting Connor use him like that but he was even more mad that Connor took advantage of his help and hurt him. He shouldn't even be upset but he could do nothing to stop the hot tears that rolled down his cheeks. He probably would never see Connor again, they'd probably never have another normal conversation or share another bottle of wine due to the sex being held over their heads like an awkward reminder of an irreversible mistake.  
Oliver decided to let himself be upset for the night but in the morning he'd get over it. He was not going to let his life be ruined by Connor fucking Walsh.


	6. Medical Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After not seeing Connor for a month Oliver finally learns what's been going on with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this so far :) comments are highly appreciated

Oliver didn't speak to Connor for an entire month. For an entire 30 days they didn't see each other. Oliver even made the effort to take the stairs so he didn't have to look at Connor’s face. He knew that the sight of him would bring down a tidal wave of regrets that he still wasn't emotionally prepared to handle.  
He was far from forgetting him, sometimes if he closed his eyes he could still feel Connor’s hands on him. That just did nothing but make him upset. He tried to find someone else but Oliver wasn't strong in the dating field. Guys weren't into the nerdy types, they went for guys like Connor.  
Instead, he focused his time on work, often working later hours to try and keep his neighbor off his mind. It seemed to help for the most part, he even got a raise.  
Just as he was learning to live without Connor, he got a phone call.  
He was at work when the call came in. It was from an unknown number but something in his gut told him to pick it up.  
“Hello?”  
“Hello, is this Oliver Hampton?” a lady asked from the other end of the phone.  
“This is,” he pushed his chair back from his computer and started walking toward the break room.  
“I'm Dr.Grey at Mercy West Hospital, we have Connor Walsh here and you were the first number on his contact list.”  
Oliver stopped in his tracks, “excuse me, what?”  
“I can't discuss his condition over the phone but you can come in and see him.”  
Oliver's boss happened to walk by and looked at Oliver, “everything alright Hampton?”  
Oliver shook his head and held the phone tighter, “I-is he alive?”  
“Yes he's alive and stable but that's really all I can say, it would be better if you could come in.”  
“Yeah of course, thank you,” he hung up the phone and looked at his boss, “that was the hospital, I-uh, is it okay if I go?”  
His boss nodded and Oliver quickly hurried out the door.  
He sped to the hospital, probably putting himself at risk of a car accident but that that moment nothing mattered except getting to Connor.  
When he got there he jogged to the main desk, “I'm looking for Connor Walsh, they uh, they just called me in.”  
The lady at the desk nodded and typed on her computer quickly before looking up, “room 206.”  
Oliver sped walked to the room, he even took the stairs to get there faster. Ignoring the fact that he was out of breath he approached the room and opened the door.  
There was a doctor in there, standing beside a bed that had no other then Connor in it. He was pale and had tubes coming out of his arms, his eyes were closed so he was either sleeping or in some sort of coma.  
The doctor looked up at him with a small smile, “Oliver?”  
He nodded and walking inside, sitting down in the chair next to Connor’s bed, “what happened to him?”  
“I'm pretty sure it was a drug overdose of some type of pill, we stabilized him and he's sleeping now but he was asking for you.”  
Oliver looked up at her, “he was asking for me?”  
She nodded, “I promised I'd call you, he's gonna be just fine but we're going to keep him for a few days, just to make sure nothing goes wrong.”  
Oliver nodded and brushed the hair off Connor’s forehead.  
“Just hit that button by the bed if you need me,” the doctor smiled as she left.  
Against his better judgement, Oliver took Connor’s hand. Drugs, how did he never notice that Connor was using drugs? Taking a deep breath he rubbed Connor’s thumb with his own, “why didn't you just tell me what was going on?”  
He saw the soft rise and fall of Connor's chest, at least he looked like he wasn't in any pain. His breathing was steady and even, he almost looked normal and peaceful.  
It wasn't long before Connor woke up, his eyes fluttered open and he let out a small groan. Oliver noticed and sat up a little bit, “hey Connor hey oh my god are you okay?”  
He looked at him and his eyes widened a little bit, “Ollie?”  
He squeezed his hand, “I'm here.”  
“I screwed up,” Connor said as he looked down at their conjoined hands.  
“What did you take?”  
Connor shook his head, “I’m not talking about the drugs, I screwed up with you.”  
Oliver wasn't expecting that, “what do you mean?”  
“I shouldn't have left.”  
Oliver paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts, “well why did you then?”  
“Cause you were sleeping.”  
“You left cause I was sleeping?”  
“You were sleeping and I was watching you and I….I don't do boyfriends.”  
Oliver looked at him, trying to figure out what he was trying to say, “I'm confused.”  
“I like you.”  
Now Oliver really wasn't expecting that, “I think you should just rest, you're probably loopy on some sort of pain killer or-”  
“Oliver relax,” Connor looked up at him and lightly squeezed his hand, “I like you and I got scared, I don't do relationships….you're just different.”  
A horrible thought dawned on Oliver and he frowned, “did you do the drugs because of me?”  
Connor shook his head, “no.”  
“Then why did you?”  
Connor shrugged and avoided Oliver's gaze.  
“Connor, why did you do the drugs?”  
“Cause of Gemma,” he mumbled.  
“Who's Gemma?” Oliver looked at him with a confused expression.  
“My sister.”  
“Did she sell them to you?”  
Connor's head shot up, “what?! No! No, Gemma would never, she has kids.”  
“Did she set you up with a dealer?”  
“She's dying Oliver.  
“What?”  
“She's dying. My sister is dying, I did the drugs to forget.”  
“Oh my god I'm so sorry.”  
“She made me promise to stay here, in law school, I can't even be with her,” Connor said as his grip on Oliver's hand tightened.  
“She told me she only had a few weeks to live at most, I guess I just went over the top with the pills this time.”  
“I could take you, to go see her. We could do it on a weekend, you wouldn't have to miss class.”  
Connor forced a laugh, “Annalise would never let me be away for that long.”  
“Well Annalise doesn't get a say.”  
Connor gave him a small smile, “hmm if you kidnapped me I wouldn't be able to do anything about it would I?”  
Oliver returned the smile, “when you get better I'll take you to see your sister.”

Connor was let out of the hospital 2 days later. Oliver barely left his side.  
“Are you just gonna be my personal caretaker now?” Connor laughed as Oliver followed him into his apartment.  
Oliver shrugged, “hey just be glad you don't have to go to some drug recovery program.”  
“It's not like I was doing cocaine! I just took too many pills.”  
“I don't know how drug court works!”  
Connor shook his head and laid down on the couch. Oliver stood by the other end.  
“You know you don't have to just stand there,” Connor laughed then smirked, “there's plenty of places you can put your body.”  
Oliver hit him with one of the throw pillows, “stop it! I'm still mad at you.”  
Connor threw the pillow back at him, “what if I do a whole naked photo shoot for you? Then will you forgive me?”  
Oliver rolled his eyes and sat on the floor, “you hurt me, like a lot.”  
Connor was silent for a moment, “I'm actually sorry.”  
“I know.”  
“We can take it slow?” Connor suggested as he dropped to the floor and sat next to Oliver.  
“How about we just start with friends?”   
Connor nodded, “yeah, I can do friends.”  
“That means no sexual implications!”  
“You're no fun,” Connor tried to pout but ended up smiling.  
“I mean it!”  
Connor put his hands up in surrender, “okay okay, I'll be good, I promise.”  
Oliver smiled at him, “see? Now you're getting it.”  
“Hey Oliver?”  
“What?”  
“Can we make out and start tomorrow?”  
“Connor!”


	7. Bigger Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver keeps his promise but it does not go as planned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will start to pick up with Connor and Oliver from here I promise. Sorry for the super super slow build (actually I'm not oops)

“Oliver I'm fine seriously,” Connor whined as tried to push Oliver away from him.  
“I'm supposed to make sure you're not using pills anymore, open your mouth.”  
Connor scowled and opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out too, “see? Empty.”  
“Good,” Oliver sat down next to him on the couch. He was spending a lot of time at Connor’s apartment these days. Connor pretended to be annoyed at times but Oliver knew he secretly enjoyed it.  
He would definitely consider them friends now, nothing more but definitely an upgrade from enemies. It's been almost two weeks since Connor was let out of the hospital, two weeks that Oliver has been keeping him under careful watch.  
“What about this weekend?” Oliver suddenly asked as Connor stretched his legs out across Oliver’s lap.  
“What about it?”  
“We go see your sister.”  
Connor looked down, “I-I don't know, Annalise might need me and-”  
Oliver cut him off, “we're going this weekend. Friday after class we’ll go.”  
Connor stayed silent.  
“You don't have to be scared to see her Connor, she's still your sister.”  
He looked up at him, “I don't know if I can handle it Ollie.”  
Oliver gently squeezed his leg, “is that why you've been making excuses?”  
Connor fell silent again.  
“Hey, it's alright. Think of how happy she’ll be when you come and see her?”  
“You'll come in with me right?” he looked at him with such a heartbreaking expression nothing in the world could have made Oliver say no.  
“Of course I'll come in with you.”  
Connor gave him a small smile which Oliver knew meant thank you.

“Are you sure you have everything?” Oliver asked Connor again as he threw another bag into the trunk of Oliver’s car.  
“I think so,” he looked at Oliver, “do you want me to drive?”  
He shook his head, “kidnapped people don't get to drive.” He got into the driver's seat.   
“Actually,” Connor said as he got into the passenger seat, “sometimes the captors do make their captives drive but usually they hold a gun to their head or-,”  
“Alright law school I get it.”  
Connor smiled and turned on the radio as Oliver pulled out of the driveway.  
“I think this is the part where you put your hand on my thigh and make a move,” Connor smirked as Oliver rolled his eyes.  
“Okay new rule, this is a silent car ride.”  
Connor turned to the window to hide the smile on his face. Oliver focused on the road, finding himself with a matching expression.

It only took about 20 minutes for Connor to fall asleep. His head rested on the window with his mouth slightly open as Oliver drove. Oliver turned the music down so he could sleep peacefully. He was cute when he slept, well he was cute all the time but sleep wiped him of his smug little smirks and sassy remarks. Maybe innocent was a better word for it but watching him sleep made something twist in Oliver’s stomach. He couldn't really describe what it was but he was sure that Connor meant a lot more to him then he let himself believe. It was when he found himself driving slower and making sure he avoided potholes so that he knew his feelings for Connor were definitely more than platonic.

“Connor,” Oliver shook his leg as he parked in a vacant parking spot. “Connor, wake up.”  
Connor groaned and lifted his head off the window. He rubbed at his eyes before opening them and smiling, “see? I knew you'd make a move sooner or later.”  
Oliver slapped his thigh before turning off the car, “we're here.”  
Connor nodded and opened the car door before getting out.  
Oliver got out too and stretched, his muscles were starting to get stiff from driving.  
He met up with Connor in front of the car, “ready to go in?” Connor nodded to that and they started to walk.  
As they walked Connor kept bumping the back of his hand against Oliver’s. By now Oliver knew Connor wasn't the type of guy to ask to have his handheld, he was certain it was one of his stubble hints.  
Oliver took a breath and intertwined their fingers. He didn't look at Connor when he did it, slightly afraid of rejection. He was a little surprised when Connor didn't pull away. Maybe Oliver was imagining it but he swore he felt even Connor lightly squeeze his hand.

“Connor?” a woman stood up as soon as they opened the door with wide eyes of shock.  
Connor smiled sheepishly, “hi mom.”  
She immediately pulled him into a hug which forced Connor to let go of Oliver’s hand. Oliver tried not to be disappointed.  
When she let him go her eyes fell on Oliver, “who's this?”  
Connor pulled Oliver a little farther into the hospital room, “this is Oliver.”  
Connor’s mom smiled at him and stuck out her hand, “hello, you can just call me Amy.”  
Oliver smiled and shook her hand, “nice to meet you.”  
Connor had made his way to the bed that contained his sister. He was silent as he sat down next to her and held her hand. She was strapped up in the bed with tubes in her nose and IV’s in her arm.  
“Hey Gem,” Connor said softly to her as he ran his thumb across her knuckles.  
She smiled weakly at him, “w-why…..a-aren't you in school?”  
Connor’s lips curled up slightly at that, “Oliver kidnapped me and brought me here.”  
She took in a weary breath and blinked, “w-who's Oliver?”  
Connor turned around and pointed to him, “him over there. He lived across the hall from me.”  
Gemma weakly squeezed Connor’s hand as her smile widened, “d-did my slutty l-little brother f-finally settle down?”  
Connor looked back at Oliver in a silent plea. When people are dying, it's okay to tell them things that they want to hear even if they may not be true, it's an unspoken rule.  
Oliver walked up next to Connor and put an arm around him.  
Connor looked up at him thankfully then back at his sister, “yeah I did it, I finally got myself a boyfriend,” he leaned in closer and dropped his voice to a whisper, “isn't he cute?”  
Pure joy filled Gemma’s eyes as she looked proudly at her younger brother, “I-I'm proud of you.”  
Connor softly kissed her hand and leaned his head against Oliver’s side. Oliver ran his fingers through the other boys hair in a soothing way. They weren't sure where Connor’s dad was but if any of them turned around they would have seen Amy wiping at her eyes with a soft smile on her face.

It's said that dying people wait for the perfect moment to go. Oliver believed Gemma waited for Connor to show up. She went that night, at around 3am. Connor was half asleep in the chair, his head resting on Gemma’s hand that he was still holding. Oliver was practically on Connor’s lap, his head laid against the back of the chair, sleeping soundlessly. Amy was on the other side of the bed with her husband, her head on his shoulder. She went then. It was a silent pass, there was no dramatic choking or struggling gasps desperate for air. Her heart was beating one minute then the next it wasn't.  
Connor wouldn't let go of her hand. Oliver rubbed his back as he sobbed against her hand. Connor parents stayed on the other side of the bed with tears running down their cheeks. Oliver felt utterly helpless.  
Eventually Connor wanted to leave. He couldn't sit there looking at her knowing she’d never respond.  
Oliver had gotten them a hotel, Connor didn't want to stay with his parents. Seeing Gemma’s old room would just be too much for him.  
As soon as they got into the hotel room Connor collapsed on the bed. He buried his face into the bedsheets and let's more sobs rack his body. Oliver took off his coat and sat on the bed next to him.  
“Hey Con,” he gently rubbed his back, “is there anything I can do?”  
Connor looked up at him with a tear stained face, “can you just stay with me?”  
Oliver nodded and laid down next to him. Connor buried his face in Oliver's chest and let another wave of sobs go through him. Oliver ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his back with his other hand. He had no idea this would be the outcome of the trip but in a way he was glad he was there with Connor. He'd been taking care of him for the weeks following that day, he almost felt like it was his job to keep doing it.  
He pressed a kiss into his hair as Connor started to settle down. Connor ended up crying himself to sleep on Oliver’s chest who followed soon after him.  
The morning wasn't much better, Oliver didn't expect it to be. All his efforts to put Connor back together before was nothing more than scotch tape over cracks. The death of sister was the bomb waiting to go off. A couple months ago Oliver was certain that Connor was some type of impossible puzzle but now, he realized it was quite simple. He was just a broken boy under a mask. Everything he did, the hook-ups and the drugs, they were just brief relief from everything underneath. And maybe Oliver couldn't fix him but he could sure as hell try.  
Maybe he could care about him enough to fill up those cracks. Watching Connor wake up on his chest and look at him with sad tired eyes made Oliver’s heart physically hurt. He could do nothing more than love him, which he did. Oliver was sure he loved him.  
He could have ever expected it but here he was away from home and in love with Connor Walsh.


	8. Love Actually

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma's funeral brings them closer together and Connor learns feelings are okay to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this is the end. I hope you guys enjoyed. Please comment if you enjoyed it l, I LOVE reading your comments :)

Gemma’s funeral was the next weekend. Oliver stayed with Connor that week in between the death and the funeral. He stayed so late some nights he would fall asleep on the couch and wake up in the same spot with a blanket carefully tucked around him.  
When Connor asked him to come to the funeral with him he wasn't surprised. Of course he accepted, he even offered to drive again. They decided on going home right after, Connor mentioned how home made it easier to handle things. Oliver didn't realize the ‘home’ Connor spoke about was him.  
The funeral was at a small home, there weren't many people there. Connor’s parents were overjoyed to see Oliver there again. Of course they were aware that Connor and him weren't actually dating, or at least he assumed Connor told them, but they were happy that he was there regardless.  
Connor held his hand throughout the entire service while they sat in the flimsy plastic chairs laid out for the attenders. Their fingers were intertwined, resting on Oliver’s lap as he soothingly ran his thumb over Connor’s knuckles.  
Oliver always saw the tears rolling down Connor’s cheeks before they were quickly wiped away. He could tell how much he was hurting and he was almost certain Connor would be crying on his chest again when night time came around. Of course he was right. Oliver was getting better it, better at figuring out Connor.  
The funeral ended shortly, they went to the graveyard and watched them lower the coffin into the ground. Connor laid his head on Oliver’s shoulder the entire time, their fingers still intertwined.  
After the funeral Connor’s family planned a lunch at a small restaurant. They rented out a party room and even had a buffet. All in Gemma’s memory of course. There were picture boards in every corner, lots of baby pictures of Gemma and Connor. He was an adorable pudgy child.  
Connor insisted that Oliver sat with him all the way in the back of the restaurant, at an unoccupied table. They sat down next to each other, always from the rest of the guests. As soon as they did Connor rested his head on the table.  
“Hey, are you gonna eat?” Oliver asked as he looked at him.  
Connor shook his head.  
Oliver frowned, “are you sure?”  
“I'm not hungry Ollie,” he mumbled.  
Oliver hesitantly put a hand on his back and to his relief, Connor relaxed under his touch.  
Connor turned his head a little without lifting it up from the table, “I never thanked you properly.”  
“What?”  
“You did all this for me, put miles on your car, took the time to drive me out here…” he took in a shaky breath, “you did a lot Ollie, when all I did was hurt you, so thank you.”  
Oliver gave him a small smile, “it's no problem. You needed someone, I was happy to be there.”  
Connor smiled back before closing his eyes, “you should get something to eat. Don't let me stop you.”  
“I'm not hungry either.”  
“When we get back home, we should order takeout and watch one of those nerdy shows you like.”  
Oliver’s smile widened slightly, “as friends or as a date?”  
Connor opened his eyes again, “would you be mad if it was a date?”  
Oliver shook his head, “no, I would actually be disappointed if it wasn’t.”

“How are you doing though?” Oliver asked as he shrugged off his coat and tossed it on the armchair.  
“I'm okay Ollie, can we just not talk about it?” Connor asked softly as he shut the door behind him.  
“I'm sorry, I just worry,” Oliver admitted as he sat down on the couch.  
Soon after Connor landed next to him and gave him a sad smile, “I know you do, it's cute.”  
Oliver pretended not to hear him but it would have been impossible to hide the blush on his cheeks.  
They ended up watching the thorn birds, which Oliver was overjoyed about. Some time during the show Oliver moved to his back and Connor crawled on top of him. It was innocent, with Connor’s head on his chest and Oliver running his fingers through his gelled hair, definitely messing it up, not that Connor minded.  
“It's not a bad show,” Connor suddenly said.  
“The thorn birds?”  
Connor lifted his head to look at him, “why are there only four episodes?”  
“It's a miniseries,” Oliver softly smiled as Connor’s expression changed slightly in confusion.  
“Like Sherlock?”  
Oliver nodded, “yeah like Sherlock just less….British.”  
Connor looked satisfied at that and dropped his head back onto his chest, “hey Ollie?”  
“Yeah?”  
“What if I changed my mind?”  
“Um with what?”  
“The whole ‘I don't do boyfriends’ thing. What if I changed my mind?”  
“I don't understand what you're getting at.”  
Connor lifted his head up again and met Oliver’s gaze, “what if what we told Gemma wasn't actually a lie? What if we actually were boyfriends?”  
Oliver's eyes widened, “you wanna be boyfriends?”  
Connor nodded and looked down at Oliver's chest. He couldn't see the grin that took over Oliver’s face.  
Oliver gently tipped Connor's face up, “you say what if a lot.”  
He leaned his face closer to Oliver’s so their noses were almost touching as that infamous smirk returned on his face, “well what if I ask you to be my boyfriend?”  
“I think I'd have to say yes.”  
Connor smiled and closed the distance, pressing their lips together.  
In that moment, with their lips pressed together, it clicked. Connor was cocky when it came to sex but not feelings. With feelings he was insecure and timid. The confident guy he showed everyone else was just a cover but Oliver knew. Oliver got to see the side that no one else did and because of that he knew he meant something to Connor.  
Connor pulled back from the kiss but kept his lips ghosting over Oliver’s, “I’ve never brought a guy to meet my parents before.”  
Oliver just smiled and kissed him again, harder this time. It soon enough turned into a mess of tongues and lips on lips. It didn't take long for shirts to come off and for Connor to pin Oliver to the couch.  
“Connor stop,” Oliver mumbled against his lips.  
“What?” Connor looked at him with already messy hair that somehow looked stunning.  
“I need to know that this isn't just another hookup….that this means something.”  
Connor gave him a small smile and started kissing down his chest, when he got to his pant like he looked up at him, “the only way I'm leaving after this is if you throw me out.”  
Oliver grinned and pulled Connor back up to meet his lips. He flipped them over and smirked at the shocked look on Connor’s face.  
“Okay, but this time I do you.”

Oliver was still sure he loved Connor. He knew he loved him when they had sex that night. He knew he loved him when he woke up in the morning. He knew he loved him when they ate breakfast and ended up abandoning the food to make out. But things like love didn't need to be rushed. Connor didn't need to know just yet, he could wait to tell him. He could wait because he was sure Connor wasn't going anywhere. Whatever they were, whatever perfect mess they were at that moment, worked. And maybe their relationship wasn't fit for movies but Oliver was sure of two things, he didn't want a perfect relationship if it wasn't with Connor, and Connor Walsh was so much more than a burnout.

**Author's Note:**

> Putting the notes at the end cause beginning notes annoy everyone I think?  
> Anyways, this is my first AO3 fanfiction, let me know how it goes?


End file.
